- Jesus: It's important to help those less fortunate than you. Treat them as your brother.
- Christian Conservatives: *hurriedly turn the page*
THE FADE TO BLACK OH MY GOD I LITERALLY CAN’T BREATHE RIGHT NOW
Collective soul woodcock. ..
i like to tell people when i need to go pee
The only thing faster than light is a fangirl who hears her idol come on the tv in another room.
i was a 45 minute drive away from my house and I made it to my house in 13 minutes cause the season finale of supernatural started in 10 minutes
How many people did you run over?
the important thing is that she didn’t miss the episode
there are weeaboos and there are Weeaboos if you call someone a weeaboo and they say “ye” they’re a weeaboo but if you call someone a weeaboo and they say “uh no that word is offensive im an otaku” theyre a Weeaboo u feel me
- salazar: hey everyone just wanted your opinion on something
- helga: shoot
- salazar: okay what if we get giant versions of our house symbols
- rowena: what
- salazar: like godric would have a giant lion chilling out somewhere and rowena would have a big canary
- rowena: its an eagle
- salazar: okay whatever
- godric: i dont think uh
- salazar: it cant be too hard to find a huge badger
- godric: okay dude wtf no this is ridiculous absolutely no giant house symbols
- salazar: oh um okay because i kind of uh
- helga: what did you do
- salazar: NOTHING
Accidental personal injuries are absolutely the worst. “Oh, how did you do that?” “Well, frankly, I’m an idiot.”
"It’s not a contest about who has a higher tolerance for pain. However, if it were a contest, i would win."
- teacher: don't bullshit this essay
- me: i'm gonna bullshit this essay